And what have you done? Another year over.....(J.L)

A new year has ushered itself in, and just realizing now that the first decade has ended, (I'm not going to get caught up in how it actually ended in 2009) I find myself questioning even more the accomplishments/goals that have not been attained. Or do I even have goals, or just some vague nebulous ideas that float around and never gain impetus.

A friend of mine just gave me a journal today to start writing down of my goals or ideas. Instead of calling her list "the bucket list" which she finds distasteful, she is calling her list 'the 50 before 50" list. Commendable. When I was her age I had just exited a marriage and one of the things I said in those next years, was, I do not want to be 50 and look back and say all I did was party with so and so. Looking back on my forties I am glad to say that did not happen (because I had to draw a line and boot that person out of my life) and those years were full of accomplishments and relationships and community.

So 3 years into my 6th decade I am again saying to myself, what will I look back and say that I have done with my life? I don't even like saying that I am in my 6th decade but facts are facts. Now good people are coming into my life who are kind and happy and a little farther on the socio-economic scale than the previous people I have attracted into my life. My friend in the picture recently called me and invited me to his art show and healing group. An exceptional young man who has his house gridded with crystals and aromatherapy oils in the paint on the walls. I'm so blessed to have good friends such as these.

But what of the Plan?

Studio

I often walk past this backyard building which is just around the corner from me and wondered about it. What was it, an artist's studio, and if so, why can't I have one like it in my backyard?? On Saturday, I found myself up early and going walking with the dog and the camera so I took a shot of it. Later that same day, I went for coffee at Moka's, which is fairly new and fairly close to my neighborhood, and admired the gorgeous paintings they have displayed. Should have taken the camera there! Paintings of musicians. Jazzy. You can see the artist's work here but not the jazz paintings, unfortunately. For that you'll have to have a coffee at Moka...and I must warn you that the turtle brownies are to die for...and if you can eat the whole thing, you might want to from guilt..(unless you worked for 6 hours in the yard like I did)...But I couldn't even finish my half!

This is Saskatchewan!

Old Man Winter is not done with us yet, it seems. Jeff had forecast some rain and snow on Saturday, but the Universe had seen kindly to delaying it an extra day, which really worked in my favor as I did a lot of cleanup on Saturday. I got up this morning to a blanket of white, very pretty and it is very welcome as we do need the moisture.

1964 Caliente

Couple weeks back, whilst out and aboot with the fam, we stopped at the Crazy Cactus for lunch. Ah, I spied a Comet Caliente, probably a 67, parked in front and I got a pic of meself in front of it. Unfortunatley, it seems I accidently deleted it so I had to copy another. This is more like the one I used to ride around in, with Terry Sinclair, but his was jacked up and painted metallic blue. Sweet ride. Btw, the Cactus is no longer a sweet place to eat. With jacked up prices and the owner serving as well as cooking, service is deplorable. And, just how much tacky can a person take. We left and so did the owner of the Comet without me getting a good look at him. sad to say....who knows maybe it was Terry....wonder if he knows there is a woman with the same name.....wonder if he sings like Fogerty...."I can sing remember the old hound dog...chasing down a hoodoo there....born on the bayou...."

Will and Grace

Operating on sheer willpower alone can compensate for shortcomings in other areas, but I think if you do this long enough, you damage your will centres. Spring your will chakras, just like you overload your adrenals and burn them out..In my case to my surprise my will centres were huge and fast, when they were tested, which I thought was odd, because I feel I have no will/power. Not exactly eye opening. Not healthy.

This changed a couple of weeks ago but it did not last for me. I can only describe it as coming from the Creator, from Spirit, or the Universe, whatever name you choose. I had a "moment" where I felt like I got this big brainwave that I should learn to play the fiddle. Ha! I was never drawn to it in the past. Drawn to the music, yes, but not to learn to play. It was not the usual idle idea...this had something backing it! And at the same time I had great resolve in sticking to a diet, but I lost that too. One could say, so what, people get these motivations/ideas all the time. True, but this was different. And how was it that an art teacher happened to be in the same aisle as me at an odd time of the day..and we got chatting....so now I have an art teacher lined up for later.....But then, this feeling of grace I had......it left me. Then what is left is doubt, doubt that I can learn to play the fiddle, doubt that I am supposed to learn to be an acupuncturist....but yet there is that underpinning of knowing involved...and what else is left?

Wood stock

A w/e trip up to Smeaton to 'borrow' the stradivarius...fog was thick this morning and thought I'd get a pic in of the woodpile before I left, which was stocked up last fall. There's more than enough wood here to keep the folk's house warm all year as well as supply my tentative future retirement home out by Swanson all this winter as well. and then some to sell too. Logging has done well for my uncles in BC and Dad hauling it kept food on the table when I was in high school. Way behind the woodpile is old Benny's rotted log cabin but I didn't feel like plowing snow that far. I should have, since not much chance of bears this time of year. (I say not much chance) cause this is bear country and bears are not true hibernators.

Nothing is black and white

Except perhaps this magnet. Bought it years ago for someone but ended up keeping it and it eventually found its way to my fridge.

Today I read somewhere that this is a quote of Nietzsche's. I did not know this before! (although when I got closer to this magnet, it does plainly have his name on it!!!!) So that is twice this week his name has come up....Been wanting to read him for a few years now.

Music --can't live without it all right. Been listening to Viking metal, celtic metal, symphonic operatic metal. And Finnish folk music which I can't understand but who cares. Feel like Nick Cage in moonstruck.....